Free PDF Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, by Jay Stringer

Free PDF Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, by Jay Stringer

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Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, by Jay Stringer

Free PDF Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, by Jay Stringer

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Review

Jay Stringer is one of those rare leaders whose life will leave an indelible mark on generations to come. In his book, Unwanted, there’s an incredible convergence of story, science and theology that makes it so accessible it becomes transformational. It is the most impactful treatise I’ve ever read on how to understand that our pain and brokenness is actually a pathway to full healing and restoration. I’m convinced that Unwanted addresses the source of sexual brokenness in our world. If we want to see our hearts restored and dismantle the forces that seek to ruin the beauty of sex, this book will be our roadmap. (Jason Pamer, Writer and Producer)If sexuality is anything, it’s complicated! This thing that involves our whole selves―body, mind, spirit―this thing that can compel our behavior but is also shaped by our habits. In Unwanted, Jay Stringer shines a spotlight on one important aspect of our sexual lives―our personal history, particularly the way our sexuality intersects with our brokenness over time. By inviting us to be compassionate with ourselves and curious about our story, he helps us to look beyond the shame and embarrassment that so often deaden us and toward real, authentic, healthy ways of relating to ourselves, our loved ones, our community, and even God. (Debra Hirsch, author of Redeeming Sex)Unwanted enters the heartache of sexual brokenness and reveals the deepest longings within us for redemption. Recognizing how evil seeks to misdirect our longings, Jay illuminates how even our sin can reveal important truths about ourselves and our unique path to redemption. Through groundbreaking research and a heart for the Gospel, Stringer invites us to the critical task of finding hope and meaning within our sexual lives. It clearly shows how Christ invites us to depth of desire, not death of desire. (Christopher West, Author of Fill These Hearts: God, Sex, and the Universal Longing)Unwanted changes the conversation on sexual brokenness for this generation of believers. Jay Stringer engages the “why” beneath our sexual shame with groundbreaking research and the wisdom of a counselor. (Josh McDowell, author and speaker)A thorough theoretical framework and nuanced vocabulary are critical tools when dealing with unwanted sexual desires, thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors. Even with these, the journey to persevere requires real stories of personal discovery and hope. In Unwanted, Jay Stringer not only provides a set of tools to understand these matters but also offers a story and vision for those who find themselves in dark places. (William M. Struthers, author of Wired for Intimacy)Wow. This book is a weapon for freedom and flourishing in a world bombarded with sexual pain and brokenness. If you are tired of the blame-and-shame methods filled with guilt and fear around sex, Jay offers a life-changing alternative: restored sexual wholeness and flourishing. Sex is good? Indeed. Refreshingly honest and humble, Jay refuses avoidance and despair around the most painful oppression of our time. Using a divine strategy with incredible skill, Jay enters our brokenness and finds the keys to our sexual freedom and wholeness within the depth of our pain. Get this book. Read this book. Let the healing and freedom come. (Danielle Strickland, cofounder of Infinitum)Unwanted is, without rival, the best book on broken sexuality I have ever read. It is heartbreaking and hope-restoring, and with immense kindness, it proceeds to where most work stalls and refuses to enter. Jay’s research is groundbreaking. No one has pursued these dark waters with as much light-offering, data-bound research. Even more, Jay offers the heart of the gospel in a manner that doesn’t trivialize sin or addiction but lifts the battle up to the ambivalence we have about freedom. This book will be a classic that anchors us in brilliant research, soul honesty, and biblical reflection. (Dan B. Allender, PHD, author of Healing the Wounded Heart)Over the past twenty-five years of ministry, I’ve witnessed many men and women floundering in a sea of hopelessness due to their own (or a spouse’s) sexual brokenness. That’s why I’m so excited about and grateful for Jay’s work in the field of sexual addiction and restoration. If you’re hungry for deep healing, or searching for practical ways to help others heal from unhealthy emotional entanglements and sexual dysfunction, Unwanted will be an incredibly sharp tool in your tool belt! (Shannon Ethridge, MA, author of Every Woman's Battle)Jay Stringer’s Unwanted demonstrates a depth of insight and wisdom that I found stunning! I have been counseling men and women in the church who are battling with sexual brokenness for over thirty years and have written fifteen books on the subject. Yet I found Jay’s grasp of the subject profound, and the graphic illustrations he used to summarize various points were worth the price of the book alone. It will truly help many come out of their shame and finally find freedom. Stringer is a top gun, and I would fly with him into combat anytime! (Dr. Ted Roberts, cofounder of Pure Desire Ministries International)As bleak as the landscape of sexual brokenness may appear, God always raises up his people to proclaim a path to healing and redemption. Jay Stringer is one of those voices. Unwanted is a courageous, insightful work that challenges us to look beyond the what into the why of our sexual sin. This book will undoubtedly equip many on the journey to freedom. (Dr. Juli Slattery, cofounder of Authentic Intimacy and author of Rethinking Sexuality)Unwanted’s breakthrough research into the origins of sexual brokenness convincingly shows why tips and techniques to combat it have failed to lead to the freedom we desire and are designed to enjoy. Unwanted is a life-giving room of grace where all of us can find relief from the heartache of sexual shame. Jay Stringer invites you to know your story and dare to believe that you will be loved more―not less―for what it reveals. The culture, including the church, has needed this book for decades. Thousands will experience God’s kindness and healing through it. (Bruce McNicol, president of Trueface)Sexual brokenness is the most significant and under addressed topic affecting men today. Jay’s work opens the door to a new conversation for all of us who need language to talk about it more transparently. Jay’s powerful research and clinical insights show how our earliest stories plant seeds that go on to hold tremendous power over us in our adult lives. Unwanted is going to lead you to an understanding of your life that can guide you to freedom. (James Anderson, President/CEO New Canaan Society)

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Product details

Paperback: 288 pages

Publisher: NavPress (September 4, 2018)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1631466720

ISBN-13: 978-1631466724

Product Dimensions:

5.5 x 8.2 x 8.1 inches

Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.7 out of 5 stars

71 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#7,136 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

This is a paradigm-changing book. In a book filled with great insights from his professional counseling practice and original survey research of almost 4,000 individuals struggling with sexual brokenness, Stringer lays out a path to healing very different from traditional approaches that simply attempt to manage lust. In honest and sensitive language the author outlines how the themes of sexual fantasy provide a road map to the deeper issues of the heart that arise from the events and themes of one’s formative years. As Stringer explains, “The formative experiences of our childhood (loneliness, pain, sexual arousal, secret, and relational ambivalence) are all being repeated in our unwanted sexual behavior as adults.” Our sexual struggles are not random.The author does a masterful job, undergirded by a Christian world and life view, of the path to healing, laying the foundation for this path based on his clinical experience and research, and then offering a practical strategy for healing within a supportive community. Drawing on his own story of brokenness and healing, he concludes: “If we fail to engage the ways we were sexualized in the past, we leave open the high probability that these patterns will become more pronounced in the future. Sexual struggles reveal the truth of our stories in ways that will constantly surprise us.”There are few books that I have read, and then have immediately read a second time. This is one of them. It is a book that provides understanding and hope to those who struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors and does so with an abundance of grace and kindness. It is a book that is much needed in a culture in which sexual brokenness of all types is inflicting so much pain on individuals and their families. It is a book that points to embracing beauty and a return to the wholeness that God desires for each of us.

The title caught my attention and I was curious to see if it would be useful for working with clients who have both been abused in the past and who struggle with some current problematic sexual behavior, but who would not be considered to have a sex addiction, per se. I was also curious about the research results to "back up" the viewpoint being given and curious to see how the Christian perspective would be utilized. I found the book to be written in a way that is accessible and helpful for clients while also clinically sound and most importantly: very compassionate. The first part of the book helps explain what sounds to me like a narrative model of how the problems develop and encourages a paradox of "listening to your lust" to understand the root of behavior, rather than just focusing on the behavior itself. The second part of the book is more application oriented and has some very useful tools for clients. Both parts would be helpful for spouse, partner or loved one trying to support the person wanting to change, I think. For a good part of the book, a wide array of unwanted sexual behavior is considered, however, at some point, I started to feel the focus of examples, etc shift to mainly men and pornography, and to marital relationships. For those looking for resources for Christian married couples, particularly where pornography and affairs have been an issue, this is an excellent fit with lots of practical tools to apply. For my practice, I would have liked to have had more application of the material to female use of pornography, as well as problematic sexual behavior that occurs aside from marital relationships, but I don't know of any resources that address these areas. In the end, I found much I can use and an encouraging and fresh perspective on the problems at hand. I have already recommended it to several clients.

I liked the logic and gentleness of this book. Stringer walker offers a wholistic approach to unwanted sexual behavior within the context of a predominantly Christian worldview. The goal is to treat the cause and not the symptoms which is an argument I can stand behind.Although Stringer focuses on a particular form of sexual brokeness, his approach can be applied to ANY variant of sexual brokenness. I don't think that any of his research is new or groundbreaking. He is just saying something that has already been said but in a way that engages his intended audience.Sometimes the book can get repetitive, but not in a way that is off-putting. His questions at the end of each chapter allow for self-reflection, but they are questions that require courage to answer. I have taken his questions and have begun to look at them honestly so that I can better know myself and the origins of my sexual brokenness.The 4 star rating is coming from the pages of off-putting reviews that are coming from big wigs who have read this book. They are over the top and exceptionally dramatic. I don’t like loquacious compliments and sweeping absolutes. I almost didn’t read the book because the reviews sounded like they were written by a kid experiencing a sugar high.For example one review wrote “Unwanted is, without rival, the best book on broken sexuality I have ever read.” A sweeping absolute like that makes a thinking reader like myself cringe.Another “critic” wrote, “Jay’s research is groundbreaking. No one has pursued these dark waters with as much light-offering, data-bound research.” How do you know that no one has done as much ground breaking research as Jay? Where is your data? Why should I trust you if you are making an absolute claim like that? What is ground breaking about talking to people who are experiencing the pain of a problem that you are researching? That’s not ground breaking, it’s common sense.The best review was “If you’re hungry for deep healing, or searching for practical ways to help others heal from unhealthy emotional entanglements and sexual dysfunction, Unwanted will be an incredibly sharp tool in your tool belt!” This is a balanced review. This review implies that this book is a good tool for the problem that one might be experiencing. It is a good tool to add to OTHER good tools instead of lauding it as if it is the ONLY tool.The most unhelpful review was “Stringer is a top gun, and I would fly with him into combat anytime!” This is not a review. This is a statement about something that has nothing to do with book. I know it is metaphorical, but still it doesn’t help the reader decide whether or not the book is worth reading.Anyway, I digress. I ended up reading the book anyway because you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover or its reviews.I would highly recommend this book to someone who is experiencing the agony of sexual brokenness in any form. Some might be upset about the fact that the author writes from a Christian worldview, but I don’t think that one should dismiss this book based on the worldview that the author holds. Healing is process and exploring healing from a variety of world views is healthy, intelligent and helpful.

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